


Write Me A Song Of Strawberries And Cigarettes

by keepquietplease



Series: Sanders Sides Stories [24]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: >:3, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Heterochromia, Aromantic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Aromantic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Buff Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders has Intrusive Thoughts, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders has Tourettes, Dark sides smoke, Deceit | Janus Sanders Has Vitiligo, Fuck you let him have muscles, He talks about doing bad things, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), I'm using swear words, Let Patton wear feminine clothes and be buff, Like hurting himself, M/M, Never forget Patton sucks at romance, Patton is going to smoke, Remus being Remus, Remus is gonna corrupt Patton, Rich Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Roman and Remus will learn to be friends, Roman is just a bit upset his brother left him to go be famous, Sort of a rebel and prep scenario, Stimming, Strangers to Lovers Speedrun, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Violence IS mentioned, Virgil smokes weed, You've been warned, it's canonical, more of a 'I had a fucked up thought let me share it', none is showed, not in a self harm way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26178820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease
Summary: Patton was best friends with Roman.  Roman had a twin brother who was the complete opposite style of Patton.  Patton's read many romance novels.He couldn't just not date Roman's twin brother.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Stories [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837975
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	Write Me A Song Of Strawberries And Cigarettes

**Author's Note:**

> So TheIcyMage and I discussed this idea ages ago. I just never wrote it, but now I am since I'm more confident in my work in the series.  
> I didn't write this word from word as the original plan was, but I tried.  
> Please send requests :)

Patton was very excited to meet Roman's family. He had been friends with Roman for about three years now, roommates since their time abroad together. They were inseparable after that trip. They had another roommate, Logan, who was also coming with them. He didn't go abroad with them, but he was also in the theater program with Roman. A little more reserved, but a sweet guy altogether. He took time off of work to join them. Patton just wanted to meet Roman's family, and his parents were fine with him spending some of his summer break away from home as long as he returned to help with their store. He was old enough, and he deserved some vacation in the summer.

He had never been on a plane before this. He lived a short distance from his university, and most of his family lived close by. He never had to fly, and he was saving up his money for when he really wanted to travel somewhere. It was all so new to him. The comfy seats, the take off, and the fact Roman's parents paid for all of them to fly first class. It was incredible. They got champagne at the beginning, and the leg room was nothing like what he thought it'd be. It was all very exciting. Roman was finishing up a call with his family, closing his phone with the biggest eye roll he could muster.

"Of course my brother is coming back with his gross friends." Roman said with disgust. "Sorry guys. I thought this year would be like the last two. He never comes home. His fucking bandmates too. Virgil's alright, I guess, but he's not social. Janus is something. He's fine, but they're both so fucking stand-offish. They don't even compare to my brother, though. He doesn't have a filter. He's probably going to be such a dick. Talk about his stupid fucking band or something. He's supposed to be on tour right now. Decided to take a break and come back home to see me."

Patton sympathetically patted his leg, nodding. "You don't miss him at all?"

"I mean, sure, but he's so vulgar. We used to get along so well, but then he got famous and I made my own life. Plus, no one ever calls him out for the shit he says. He's not bigoted or whatever, but he says whatever pops in his head. Just--I apologize for anything he says to either of you. I'll try to be polite or whatever. Maybe it'll be fine. Maybe I'm just upset he left home so quickly after getting big. Why would you just leave your family?"

"So your worries are based on the fact he left quickly. No need to worry. He decided to come back to see you. I'm sure it will work out perfectly. If you two had a good relationship before he left, and there was no falling out, it could be fine." Logan took a sip of his champagne, staring out the window as the plane began to take off. "I'm excited to see them practice. Their music isn't terrible. You showed it to us last week."

"Yes, and you're crushing on Virgil. I get it. He's a good bassist."

"It was very loud." Patton commented, kicking his legs slightly. "Not my style. I like pop!"

"Get ready to deal with them practicing the whole time. I think they're taking the basement, so you don't need to worry. I mean, Remus has his own room, but they'll use the basement for practice. We have enough spare rooms so everyone can have a room."

"We know. Your family is rich." Logan said, but he really couldn't speak. He lived a life similar to Roman's. "I'm excited to have time to relax."

"There's so much I want to show you! There's a wondrous arboretum nearby that we can visit. We could have a picnic there. You'd love it, Patton. They have such pretty flowers this time of year."

"Oooh! I can't wait to see it! How long's the flight?"

"About three hours or so. It's a nice view of the rivers the whole trip. I'm going to sleep for most of it. You two can do what you wish. Just don't get in trouble, and it'll be fine." Roman leaned back, closing his eyes. In seconds he began snoring. Logan followed suit. It was, after all, late. They'd be arriving around two in the morning, after all. They had to leave late. Roman had to finish something up, and the next plane was at eleven. Patton, however, was restless. The beginning of the plane ride was fun, and he never traveled this far.

Then the flight got boring. He didn't realize that it was just going to be this for awhile. He should get some rest, but he just couldn't. Maybe it was the height, or maybe it was the excitement of traveling. He couldn't bring himself to even think of closing his eyes. He talked to the stewards that passed through. They were all nice, but they were busy, so he tried not to bother them too much. In the end, he just listened to some cheerful music as he looked out the window.

He couldn't wait.

* * *

Remus was something else, Patton discovered. He picked them up, smoking in the car, which wasn't great. He seemed generally happy to see Roman, which was great, but it wasn't long before Patton discovered what Roman meant by him having no filter. Also, he kept shrugging and shaking his head. Patton didn't know if it was in response to something or if he was just doing it compulsively.

"So I was thinking about putting my hand in a blender. Virgil wouldn't let me, but it's an interesting thought. Like, would it be shocking enough that I don't feel pain or would it hurt like hell?" Remus asked, driving a bit faster than anyone was comfortable with. "Sorry. That wasn't a great first introduction. It's just been in my mind for awhile."

"Still having disturbing thoughts?" Roman mumbled, looking out the window. "Put the cigarette out."

Remus' smile faltered a bit as he put it out and put it in the cup holder. He'd relight it once they got back. Patton was sure of that. "Sorry."

"Mom know you smoke?"

"She's not happy about it. Dad doesn't give a shit. I mean, he smokes, but he takes her side most of the time. She isn't a fan of most of the shit I do. Fucking sucks. You know you're the favorite, right?"

Roman didn't answer, The statement was factual, but he wasn't going to admit that. The car got uncomfortably silent, and Patton started to regret coming. Logan looked fine, but he didn't show emotion much. The silence was really bad, and Patton began snapping as softly as he could to calm himself down. The snaps weren't audible, but the movement soothed him. The drive was short, but the atmosphere was awful. Remus parked on the street, grabbing his cigarette and waving them off. 

"You head inside. I'm finishing this."

The outside was beautiful. Patton was sure they hired professional gardeners. They had hedges and rose bushes lined up and trimmed to perfection. The flowers and trees were watered and fertilized. There were no signs of weeds or dead plants. Patton spent maybe five minutes exploring the garden which annoyed the two tired men who wanted to go to bed, but he just needed to check it all out. When he glanced back at the car, Remus was staring right back, a funny look on his face. Patton smiled, waving at him before skipping over to his friends to finally go inside. There were two people sitting in the lounge next to the entrance. Roman introduced Patton and Logan to them. 

"Virgil's the short angry one with heterochromia, and Janus is the one with yellow eyes. This is Patton. He is the bubbliest person I know. Logan is the emotionless robot." Roman said, smiling a bit. It wasn't sincere. It was just to be polite. "What's up?"

"Very sweet of you to point out Virgil's condition." Janus responded, punching Virgil's shoulder. He flinched, finally looking up from his phone. "Want to say hi?"

Virgil shrugged, looking back at his phone. Logan looked vaguely interested, which surprised Patton. That was more emotion than he shared in the past three years. Virgil looked up again, squinting. "Where's Remus?"

"Smoking in the car. Where do you think he is?"

"He told me he was out."

"He probably got a pack before he picked them up." Janus said, flicking his head. "Chill."

"He stole my last cigarette. He owes me one." 

"Get a cup of coffee and calm down. He'll give you one tomorrow. He always gives you what you want."

Virgil clicked his tongue, shrugging. "Whatever."

"Well, we're probably going to head to bed." Roman said. His face practically said he wanted to get out of there. 

"Have fun. We'll be heading to bed once Remus comes in." Janus replied, smiling. His seemed more genuine than Roman's. Patton didn't really understand why Roman was so hostile. Janus seemed to notice Roman's urge to get out of there as well, frowning. "Roman, I do hope our staying here isn't disturbing you. We were quite excited to see you again, Remus especially."

"Well then he should've fucking acted like it instead of talking about shoving his hand in a blender."

"He has no impulse control, and you know that. If you want, we can talk to him so he'll just tell us this stuff. I just hope we can have fun this summer. We've all been looking forward to this."

Roman let out a big sigh, nodding. "Yeah, I hope we can too. I'm tired. I'll feel better in the morning."

"Good. We missed you, and your friends are a bonus."

Roman gave one last nod before leading Patton and Logan upstairs. Patton marveled at how pretty and clean the home was. Roman casually mentioned they had maids who cleaned the house each day. The guest rooms were huge. Patton had a big family. He had about six younger siblings and three older sisters, and their home had room, but not this much. The guest room he was staying in was the size of two bedrooms in his house. He said goodnight, closing the door taking a quick video of how big the room was. He sent it to his family's group chat. It was far too late for anyone to reply, but Patton still checked every couple of minutes. He was still wide awake, but he couldn't do much, so he closed his eyes. 

He was hoping for a good vacation.

* * *

There wasn't a big barrier between Roman and Remus, but rather a style difference. Once Roman calmed down and accepted the fact he wasn't actually mad at Remus, it was easier to see. It applied to the others as well. Patton, personally, was a very fluid man. He liked pretty things, like skirts and glitter. He dressed up in pastels a lot, and tended to wear lip gloss each day. Logan and Roman weren't as shiny as he was, but they didn't stray too far away. Roman liked bright colors and sparkles, and Logan just grew used to their antics. He'd humor them and allow Roman to do his eyeliner. Remus, however, was less than preppy. He had a darker vibe to him. Virgil was just quiet all the time, sometimes looking up and saying the next thing he was anxious about before returning to his phone. Janus played peacekeeper a lot. He tried to make everyone to get along, and it was sort of working. They were at the arboretum, Patton taking pictures of the flowers he saw.

"Wow, you're really girly, huh?" Remus said, shrugging his one shoulder. Patton learned from Janus that was a tic Remus had. He struggled to control it.

Patton furrowed his eyebrows. "I mean, yes? Do you have a problem with that?"

"No. I'm just pointing out how--wait, let me rephrase that. You were the kid in high school who got super into dances and was part of the committee."

"Is that a bad thing? I bet you, uh, didn't do those things!"

"I didn't. I dropped out the minute our band got big. It was a dream come true."

Patton moved away, rolling his eyes. Remus followed slowly, smiling.

"So you're not a troublemaker, huh?" Remus asked, watching him take more photos.

"Why would I be?"

"It's fun! Why wouldn't you want to stir up some trouble every now and then? One time, and this was great, Janus and I managed to switch the water balloons they had for spirit week with ones full of paint. No one caught us! It was so much fun! We also once convinced everyone that there were cockroaches in the cafeteria, and that's about the same time I dropped out, so I hope it worked. I never got in trouble for that shit."

"That's so rude! Why would you do that?"

"The cockroaches were Virgil's ideas, and Janus is a persuasive man. All I did was break into the school and place the fake cockroaches where we'd be able to use them."

"So you did the illegal thing?"

"I guess, yeah."

Patton was both horrified and intrigued. Patton was a big fan of romance novels. The really stupid ones where the high school bad boy got with the cheerleader or something. He ate that shit up. He didn't get that in high school. He went to a small school and knew everyone. Most people he knew since he was a toddler. He didn't get to meet the mysterious rebel. Also his school didn't have any crazy pranks. The most they did was hide tiny plastic dinosaurs around the school. Remus shrugged again.

"You probably would've gotten me in a lot of trouble if we went to high school together. I bet you would've been the main reason I got detention." Remus leaned closer, his grin growing. "I bet you would've caught me each time I did something wrong."

Patton's face flushed. He lifted his chin, making a little 'hmph!' "I bet I would! I'd report you right away."

"I know you would. A shame we didn't go to the same school. I think I would've liked you. I always liked when people tried to get me in trouble, but no one would try for long. I bet you wouldn't give up."

"I, uh, I would write you up. I'd make sure you couldn't get away with this. I would never give up."

"Oh, do keep telling me. Go on. Would you try to get me suspended?"

"Stop trying to make Patton do your role-play." Roman said, fake gagging. "We're here to look at flowers. We're not here for you to flirt."

"I can easily do both!" Remus chirped, moving away from Patton. "Let me have fun. Right Virgil?"

Virgil let out a sigh, looking over. He was quietly talking to Logan in the back of their group. "Whatever, I guess. As long as you're not hurting him?"

"Your endless support is what fuels me to wake up in the morning! Love having you, Virge!"

"Bother Janus or something. I don't like being out here. Sun's too bright. I'd rather be inside right now."

"Yes, we all know Virgil is a vampire." Janus said, moving Remus away from Patton. "Stop annoying the poor guy."

Patton frowned but continued to photograph the plants. His family would love these. He'd send them once he got back to Roman's place. He glanced at Remus who waved enthusiastically before talking to Janus about something. Patton turned to Roman, slipping his phone in his front pocket.

"So, did you visit this place a lot growing up?"

"Almost every winter! It's pretty then. The snow is so gorgeous on the hills here. You should come down one winter! You would love it!" Roman looked proud, gesturing wildly at everything. "Will you join us one day?"

"If I can! My family does the holidays together. I can't believe they agreed to me leaving for part of the summer! My one younger sibling got a new boyfriend recently. I'm supposed to give the 'hurt them and I hurt you' talk when I go home later this summer. I hope he's nice! He wrote them a song! I've always wanted a guy to do that for me. He just learned guitar to write them a little ditty!"

"That's so sweet!"

"Mmhm! So if he hurts them, I will burn that song and make sure he can never use his guitar again!" Patton said all of that with a big smile, as sweet as he could be. "So, what flowers grow here in the winter?"

"Not many. They don't have seasonal flowers. They have some winter flowers. English primroses and violas. They set up little things for it though! They decorate the whole place for the holidays! The fernery stays open year round, and it's always warm, so it's nice to go in there."

Patton nodded, glancing at Remus who was pretty far away at this point. Maybe they'd be able to talk about this again. 

He really hoped so.

* * *

Patton found himself spending more time with Remus than anyone else. It wasn't because he wanted to, not that he didn't want to. It just happened that way. Roman and Janus liked alone time more than Patton and Remus did. Apparently Logan had more skills with dating than anyone thought. After maybe a month, he already charmed Virgil. Patton found out during a movie night when the two decided to get more popcorn, and that took about thirty minutes which was weird. Patton went to check on them, only to see them making out against a counter. He wasn't exactly quiet, so they looked over the minute he walked in.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" Patton covered his mouth, backing up. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's perfectly fine. Virgil and I were just French-kissing. Do you need something?" Logan asked, adjusting his glasses. Virgil hid his face with his hand, turning away. 

"I came to check on you two. You took so long that I got worried. I see why now. Cute!"

"Yes. Cute. Would you give us a minute? We're probably going to skip the movie."

"Let's just go somewhere else." Virgil said, pulling Logan out of the kitchen quickly.

"Well, sure hope I didn't make that awkward!" Patton grabbed the forgotten popcorn on the counter, turned around, and went back to the basement. It was just Remus down there now. "Where did Roman and Janus go?"

"I don't know. Probably outside if you want to join them." Remus' nose was twitching. That was something Patton noticed a lot. It was that, shrugging, and shaking his head. He had a vocal tic too, Patton discovered. He cleared his throat uncontrollably. He was drinking a bottle of hot sauce like it was a bottle of beer. Janus was right about his impulse control. "I'm finishing the movie. I want to see if the main characters die."

"No, I'll watch. I am too scared to keep finding myself alone."

Remus glanced at him, watching him sit down before turning back to the movie. Patton moved closer. Sure, the couch was big, but Patton really did not feel like sitting alone. Especially with the movie they picked. Why did everyone leave him during a horror movie? He kept inching closer to Remus, finally settling directly next to him and pulling his knees to his chest. Remus, carefully, put an arm around him. 

"You know, I bet fudge brownies with hot sauce in the middle would taste good."

"That's disgusting!" Patton turned to him, frowning. Remus was taking a swig of the hot sauce as Patton continued. "Why would you ever want to mix those? You don't need something spicy in something so sweet!"

"Don't see why not. It's not like I'm adding dish soap again. People mix sweet and spicy all the time. That's why you put chocolate in chili. I bet we could create a perfect hot sauce brownie. Maybe a ganache."

"Sounds gross."

"To each their own. Still going to try it later. Hey, do you mind if I smoke in here?"

"Won't you set off a fire alarm or something?"

"Nah. There isn't one in the basement. My dad comes to smoke down here. There's literally an ash tray on the table."

"That's not safe." 

"I'll go outside then."

Patton really didn't want to be alone in the dark basement with this movie playing. "No. No it's fine. You can smoke in here."

"Are you sure? I can go outside--"

"No! It's fine! I said it was fine."

Remus pulled a pack and a lighter out of his pocket. Patton watched with interest as he lit it, mostly because gross stuff was happening on the screen. Remus offered him one, making Patton pause. His mom smoked, and one of his older sisters smoked sometimes, but he hadn't. 

"Can I just try yours? Is that okay?"

"I mean, yeah." Remus took his out of his mouth, blowing some smoke out before handing it to Patton. Patton stared at it. He didn't know what to do. "Just inhale a bit. Not too much, or else you'll choke on it. Hold it in your mouth for a second and blow it out. Don't swallow it."

Patton tried, but he started coughing right away. Remus patted his back, taking it back.

"It's okay. I fucking ate shit the first time I tried smoking. You get used to it." Remus turned around, grabbing a bottle of water that was next to him. "Drink this."

Patton chugged the water, taking deep breaths once he finished it. "That was awful."

"You could always try shotgunning. You have to be careful, but it's pretty tame for smoking. People usually do it with weed, which is fine. I don't get high often, but I know Virgil does. His ex used to shotgun with him, but it didn't get him as high. I'm not talking about the kind where you put the lit part in your mouth. I mean when you blow the smoke into someone's mouth."

Okay Patton. This is your chance. He had to decide if he wanted to flirt with Roman's brother or if he wanted to turn him down. On the plus side, Patton could possibly get a kiss. On the con list there was the fact he could catch feelings for his best friend's brother which was the most cliche thing he could think of. The pros overtook the cons, and he decided he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. "Can we try?"

Remus took a drag before putting his hand on Patton's cheek, pulling his face close. Carefully, he put their lips together and blew smoke in slowly. He pulled away, keeping some smoke in his own mouth. He let it slip out of his mouth, watching as Patton also let the smoke go. Patton was staring at him, slightly red in the face.

"Again?"

Remus let out a laugh, fulfilling the request. He did it again, and then Patton asked for another. Then again and again until the cigarette was nothing more than a stub. He put it in the ash tray, putting his arm back around Patton. "Good? Do I need to light another?"

Patton shook his head, leaning against him. "I'm good."

"I'm going to make some hot sauce brownies if you want to help. I know you think it's gross, but I'm craving it. Maybe mustard in the brownies instead of hot sauce. Mm, no. I want hot sauce." 

Patton made a face, gripping Remus' shirt. "That sounds really gross. Why would you put hot sauce in chocolate? Why are you drinking hot sauce?"

"Didn't stop you from shotgunning with me."

"Well hot sauce tastes good! I like it on eggs! That's not the thing I'm talking about. Why do you drink condiments?"

"It's a weird craving I have. Like, these impulses are okay to give into. If I hear in the back of my head that I want to eat pickles mixed with butterscotch, that's fine. That won't make me a psychopath. The hot sauce in chocolate is one of those things that are okay to do. I've seen recipes for brownies with chili sauce in them. That's just something I want to try."

"Do I have to eat them?"

"Nope!"

"I'll help you make it then."

Remus paused the movie in probably the tamest scene of the remaining characters strategizing and trying to find a way out. Nothing graphic or scary. Patton followed him into the kitchen, watching as he got all the ingredients out. Patton decided to do most of the baking. He wanted to control the amount of hot sauce going into the mixture. He had Remus look up a recipe, and the recommended amount was a fourth of a cup. He put a bit more than that at the request of Remus. It smelled weird, but it wasn't a terrible smell. The batter tasted pretty good. He was shocked that it would taste okay. Roman came into the kitchen once Patton put it into the oven, seeing the hot sauce infused batter. His hair was wet, and he was wearing pajamas that Patton had a matching set of.

"Sorry. I thought the movie was boring, so I went to take a bath." Roman asked, leaning against the counter. "Hot sauce brownies?"

"Yup! Want one?" Remus asked, smiling. 

"Yeah, sure. Where's Logan?"

"I think he's learning bass." Patton replied, washing the bowl he used for mixing. "Virgil was certainly teaching him how to use his hands in a precise manner."

"Wait, what?"

"Logan was using his hands to touch Virgil a lot when I walked in on them. I think they went to one of their rooms. Pretty handsy. Where's Janus?"

"How would I know? He's probably asleep or something. Let me text him." He sniffed, raising an eyebrow. "Did Patton smoke?"

"He tried. It did not go well. We're going to finish the movie once brownies are done if you want to watch with us." Remus answered. 

"Nah, it's boring. I may go to bed soon. Will you save me a brownie so I can try it in the morning?"

"Yes sir!"

Roman nodded, checking his phone. "Yeah, Jan's going to bed. He just texted back. Alright. Good night."

Remus waved, smiling as Roman left. 

"Thanks for not telling him about us shotgunning. I don't want Roman to think I'm coming onto his twin or something." Patton said with a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. "That would be awkward."

"Well, yeah, no one wants to tell their brother they kissed his boyfriend. I even feel bad for doing that."

"We're not dating! Oh goodness, no! We're just friends. He's like a brother to me!"

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Alright. Well, how long do the brownies cook for?"

"Thirty five minutes."

"Enough time to finish the movie?"

"Yes."

Remus wrapped his arm once again around Patton, this time around his waist. They went back down to the basement, hoping to finish the movie before the brownies were done. The movie upped the fear factor in the last twenty minutes. Patton didn't appreciate the fact everyone died such horrible deaths. Remus seemed fine, even letting out a chuckle at the bad graphics. By the time it was over, Patton was trembling. Remus held his hand on the walk up the stairs, back to the kitchen. It helped him feel safe. It was fine as long as he didn't catch feelings.

* * *

He caught feelings.

Patton realized rather quickly that he was, indeed, a hopeless romantic. Every nice thing Remus did was like flirting to him. All the hand brushing. Each time Remus blew smoke into his mouth. Every glance and word. Patton was enamored by him, and it was terrible. He only noticed when he was left alone with Remus yet again. Roman was shopping with the others, and Patton decided to check out a little flower shop near the mall. Remus immediately decided to join him. It was when Remus pretended to choke from the sweet scents of the lilies that Patton felt his heart speed up. That's not great.

He decided to write down how he was feeling on paper. He wrote down everything he wanted to say before he pulled Remus aside one day, holding the paper up. They were all at a cafe. Patton made Remus step outside with him to read the script.

"Hi Remus. It's a beautiful day, isn't it? Well, maybe not. I'm writing this before I know the weather. Wow, this isn't going great. Let me start over. Hi, I'm Patton. You know that, but it's always better to make sure your bases are covered. Oh boy, this was a mistake. I don't know why I'm not erasing that last line. Well, anyway, I just--"

Remus plucked the paper from his hands before shoving it in his mouth and chewing. He swallowed it, taking a second after gulping to speak. "Okay, no letter. Say it now."

"No script? Okay, uh," Patton went in for a hug which was quickly reciprocated by Remus. "I don't know what else to do. I had it written on my script."

"What was the script for?"

"Um, well, it's harder without the script. You think you can puke it out for me so I can read it? I promise I'll eventually get to the part where I confess my attraction to you. I just need to get through the rest of the stuff I wrote down."

"I don't think I can do that, but I can take you to dinner."

Patton felt his face flush as he stammered and kept glancing around. He stumbled over his words, trying to accept without freaking out. Remus finally took pity on him, smiling and grabbing his hands.

"I'm sure I could steal you away for a night. We could be crazy and reckless."

"I'm not a crazy and reckless person."

Remus brushed his hair back, grinning like a madman. He leaned down, brushing their lips together before pulling away quickly when he heard Roman calling for them. They both stood up straight, Patton turning quickly to face Roman.

"Hey, what are you two doing? Your drinks are getting cold." Roman said, glancing back. "Hate to rush whatever this is."

"We'll be in soon. Remus saw a weird looking toad, so we'll be in as soon as we find it!" Patton assured him, nodding. He watched Roman nod and go back into the cafe before turning to Remus. "Give me time to tell him. It's so stupid to be dating your best friend's brother. I want to ease him into it. Mostly since he was so hesitant at the start."

"We're dating now?" Remus glanced in the window of the cafe, making sure Roman was out of sight. He finally got the kiss. Patton was reveling in the feeling of Remus' chapped lips against his own. He followed Remus as he pulled back, finally stopping himself when Remus let out a small laugh. "Cute. Strawberry lip gloss?"

"It makes my lips soft. I usually don't wear scented stuff, but I really wanted to up my cute factor for today."

"It's very cute and sexy of you to wear that. Means each time I kiss you, I smell a bit better."

"You do use very not great hair products. You should try my shampoo! It smells like honey!"

"Roman would catch on. One time, when we were kids, to protest the fact I had to use deodorant, I ate the whole stick. I ended up in the hospital. I'd have to wait until tour starts up again to use the products you use. Unless you can think of a lie."

"Lying is bad!"

"Yeah, you seem like the type of person who'd say that. We would be the least expected couple. Pretty cheesy, but still worth the shock value."

"I don't think I'd be able to date you. Don't think my folks would approve. Good thing I'm my own adult now. I approve of you."

"Huge mistake. Maybe I could lie for both of us. Say I stole your shampoo and soap."

"The soap is lavender scented."

"I can smell it. You always smell nice."

"Awww! Thank you! Have you been just sniffing me?"

"Honestly? Yes. Not in a creepy way. More when you would lay against me during movies, and I'd be breathing. In a sense, I have been sniffing you."

"You could phrase that in so many different ways. We should head back inside, shouldn't we?" Patton asked, leaning closer again. "Kiss?"

Remus kissed him again, intertwining their hands. Patton gave his hands a squeeze, making a little noise of excitement as they kissed. Remus had to pull away finally, catching his breath. "Shotgunning is always on the table tonight. I personally think strawberry pairs excellent with nicotine. A perfect combination."

"I might take you up on that. You were right about the brownies, after all. Maybe you'd be right about this too."

"I am very correct."

"We'll test it out tonight then." Patton said with a smirk before pecking his lips and going inside the cafe.

* * *

"Patton, put the script down. You're bad with words even when you write it out. I have a feeling I know what you're going to say."

Patton nodded, putting his script down. Roman was staring at him, a small smile on his face. Patton took a deep breath before speaking. "I'm dating your brother."

"Well, yeah, no shit. It was either that or you two were just sleeping together. You just came out of his room wearing his clothes, and your hair is a mess."

Patton looked down, and Roman was right. He was wearing a dark green shirt and black boxers. The shirt was a bit tight on his arms. "Oh. Yeah, I guess I am. Please don't be mad."

"Why would I be mad?"

"The best friend is always pissed in the novels! I just assumed that was what real life was like!"

Roman let out a laugh, shaking his head. "Pat, this is real life. Why would I care? If you dated an ex who I broke up with on good terms, I'd be fine. If it was a cheating asshole, then I'd have a problem. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't think Remus has the guts to cheat. If he did, I'd punch him. I'd kill him with my bare hands."

"Thanks Ro. That means a lot. I just wanted to let you know before I went home. It felt weird hiding things from you! I've never done that before. I was lying to you, and it felt awful! I'll never do it again!" Patton hugged him, a big smile on his face. "I should fix my hair and start packing, huh?"

"We bought your plane ticket. It's on the kitchen counter. I'm taking a quick shower, and then I'll drive you to the airport. Say bye to everyone."

Patton nodded, quietly going back into Remus' room to get his clothes. Remus was still asleep, snoring. Patton made sure to be quiet as he got changed, folding up Remus' clothes when he took them off. He sat on the bed once he was dressed, kissing Remus' cheek. He didn't wake up, and he looked so peaceful. Remus had Patton's number, and he could always visit him during tours. Patton would probably never go to his concerts. They were too loud for him, but he would watch the videos Remus sent him, if he did. Patton hoped he did.

He walked over to Remus' dresser to make it look like he didn't just wake up. He glanced in the mirror Remus kept on his dresser. He ran his fingers through his hair. He saw Remus get up in the reflection and walk over. Patton tilted his head back with a smile.

"Morning!"

"Mornin' dove." Remus kissed his head. "You leaving today?"

"Yes sir! Gonna miss me?"

Remus nodded, hugging him from behind. "Stay?"

"I can't. I need to see my family, and I can't keep flying with your family's money. I'll be calling and texting. You'll answer, right?"

"Every minute of the day when I'm not busy."

"Thank you. I'm gonna miss you. Going back to being a good boy. No smoking, no weed, and no sex. Good ol' virgin Pat."

"Did you get high with Virgil?"

"Once, and we spent the whole time watching a documentary about dangerous animals. He's way more chatty when he's high."

"It helps with his anxiety. He just can't be touched when he's high because all his senses are heightened. He gets way happier and extroverted. Wish I was there to see what you were like when you were high."

"I really wanted cookies and kisses. I wish you were there when we got high. Logan held my hand, so that helped. It was pretty boring besides that. Time slowed down, and two hours felt like seven years. Not getting high again after that experience!"

Remus kissed behind his ear, breathing in. Patton let out a small giggle, pushing up his glasses.

"You can keep my shampoo if you want. Give you something to remember me by. Make your hair smell good."

"I'm just going to keep it to smell when I miss you. I'd offer my clothes, but I don't think they'd be comfortable."

"I wore your shirt today for five minutes, and it was tight. No clothes. I will take one of your earrings to keep. Skull one please." Patton held out his hand. Remus let go of him, reaching past him to grab the earrings. He placed the one Patton requested in his hands. "Thank you!"

"Want my drum sticks? I have a spare pair, and I can give you the ones I use during concerts."

"No, that's okay. I think you need those."

"Gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you too."

* * *

Remus wrote him a song. Patton was overjoyed, smiling as he listened to it. It was softer than Remus' usual style, and Patton fell in love all over again. Remus was on another tour. Patton was watching the video Logan sent him. They all had long graduated. Roman sometimes went to see his brother on tour. He was often too busy with his own job, but if he could make it, he would. Logan went with them to support Virgil, working from the tour bus and spending time with him. Patton lived in the same town he always did, working at his family's flower shop and garden. He didn't have time to go to concerts, but he had time to watch the videos sent as he took his breaks. His favorite moment so far was Remus stating in an interview that he wrote the particular song because his boyfriend hated his music.

An inside joke between the two. A true fact that Patton didn't enjoy the music, but a joke that that was the reason it was written.

A song of strawberries and cigarettes. One that represented them perfectly.

He didn't regret anything about joining Roman to meet his family. He didn't regret Remus.

**Author's Note:**

> Author fact: I went to the same school kindergarten to twelfth grade. It was small, so the high schoolers knew the elementary school kids and middle schoolers since we did all school activities. We'd get new people, but after awhile it's just the same thing over and over again. I think seven of the people who graduated with me were in the same kindergarten class as me. Our graduating class was fifty people? Forty? Not big. You just know everyone. Our biggest pranks were 'raising enough money to choose the shave design of this teacher' or 'hide smiley faces throughout the hallway'  
> We didn't pull huge pranks.
> 
> Other fact: my ex-girlfriend is one of my closest friends, and her current boyfriend is absolutely lovely. He had to go home two days ago because his family missed him, and she took him to the airport. Here's hoping he'll join our next zoom call (time differences are gonna be hard, but I don't think he's changing his sleep schedule since he's still going to virtual classes at Penn in real time)
> 
> Also yes, I did look at the transcript for the valentine's video so I could capture Patton being a fucking disaster with romance.
> 
> Send requests!


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